Seems like these could be super useful for something. Any ideas? Wish I had a lathe.
Have a fireplace? I don’t but I have a burn barrel. 
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I dont. I live in one of those suburban homes where you can pee on your neighbors porch from your own porch.
Well, based on the suggestion above, I’d say to make a funel out of them, to allow one to pee from his porch to the neighbor’s porch without any "collateral risks "… 
Else, you might try using them for some abstract art constructions, or (eventually) sell them (ebay might work)
[no offense intended- just having some fun] 
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That is pretty funny. Made me laugh.