I have large hands and unplugging and replugging the 3 connectors for the hotend is tricky for me.
has anyone come up with any tool to make the process easier? and safer, I am worried about ripping out the wires or breaking something
You can use tweezers. I’m using this tools for removing and reinserting the tiny connectors and also to route the cables. Works well for me.
I found something like this on the internet
Yep, I recommended that to another user here and I printed it myself and it works really well.
Well, expect for the fact that I printed it with white filament and it keeps “disappearing” on my white table. 
I printed the mentioned ho tend plug removal tool a while ago and it worked, but not very well.
Now I’m using this tool from Printables:
https://www.printables.com/model/383786-bambulab-x1cp1p-connector-jaws-mrw.
And I’m much happier with it.